The Quieting Response*
This six second technique is one of the ones that I am most likely to
teach during short duration workshops and seminars. It is simple
to understand and perform, combining both physical and cognitive methodologies.
Step one: Become aware of the emotional and physical response of stress.
It may seem obvious, but one can not begin to make changes in
the stress response unless they are aware of the onset of physical changes
that accompany stress. Be aware of what you are saying to yourself.
Step two: Take a deep belly breath (Pause after the inhalation then
exhale very slowly)
Diaphragmatic (Abdominal) breathing is the key to many forms of relaxation
training. Look at the links on abdominal breathing on my links
page for more information.
Step three: Consciously let go of any muscular tension (let the shoulders
drop, unclench fists, & let the jaw go loose as you exhale from the
belly breath.
A natural reaction to stress is for muscles to contract (Bracing).
Unless you plan on physically defending yourself or running away from a
threat this is wasted energy that often leads to physical complaints.
Step four: Smile inwardly. Smile with your eyes and the inside of your
mouth.
Those who are excellent at managing stress have the ability to maintain
their sense of humor under the most difficult situations. They know
that it is not worth it to take themselves too seriously. Many are
not able to laugh at themselves until long after the situation has past.
The trick is to find some immediate humor in your situation. It may
be that the only thing you can laugh at is that you have allowed yourself
to get emotionally and physically aroused by this situation. If you
are able to smile inwardly you have essentially stopped your negative thought
process and substituted something much more healthy. Humor is very
therapeutic, look for Web sites on this topic in my links page. By
the way it may not be helpful to smile outwardly, especially if
you are in a confrontation with your significant other or boss at the time.
Step five: Give yourself a positive affirmation related to the situation.
Have a simple statement of affirmation that you can say to yourself
(e.g., Calm body, alert mind; I can handle this; I'm confident and sure
of myself; Peace). To change your response to stress, change your
thinking.
Step six: Repeat as necessary.
In order to make this an automatic response, like any technique this requires
a great deal of practice. Practice initially as many times during
the day as you can. This is something you can do under any circumstances
(e.g., when driving, in the shower, at your desk, while watching TV) and
no one will even know you are doing it. Once you know the steps,
begin by recalling stressful events and practicing the steps. After
awhile the process will become automatic. I guarantee that this
technique will work. I also guarantee that this will not work
unless you practice it. Of all the methods I have taught to people
over the years this is the one I most often have people positively respond
to months and years later. Try it for a week, if it doesn't change your
life then nothing was lost.
*Modified from Charles Stroebel's Technique (I'm not sure that
this brief page does justice to this excellent technique. Please
refer to Stroebel's book or audio tapes for more information.
Go to the Web's Stress Management and
Emotional Wellness Links Page